Grandma and Grandpa memories

subtitle: When oh when will my wisteria bloom?


Yes, the picture is a goofy younger me; I'm not sure when it was taken, but my guess (from the clothing and the one grown-up tooth and one gap in my mouth) that I was about 6 or so. My uncle scanned the photo and sent it to me about a year ago, and every so often I come upon it and remember for a brief moment what it was like to be "little me" at my grandparents' house.

The picture must have been taken when my Grandpa was still alive. He passed away when I was seven, and I have some very strong memories of him, but not enough. The feeling of sitting on his lap and bouncing up and down as he sang "I went riding on my horse, on my horse, on my horse; I went riding on my horse and I fell down and went BOOM!"....the feeling of his rubbing his fingers behind my neck...the feeling of being on the swings behind their house, waiting to see if I'd be allowed to go into their pool. I remember his humor, and I remember feeling like he noticed me, even on the rare occasions that I was quiet. He was my first penpal; I still have the goofy letters he wrote me. Mom has a tape that he recorded when he was traveling to Florida; on the tape he said to a one -year-old me "I won't talk to you until you talk to me!"....but there, on that cassette, is his voice speaking to me. My processing of the world is very sound-centered, and in those sound bytes he did talk to me, and he still does.

After Grandpa's death, Grandma obviously went through a mourning spell. Then, she pulled herself together and devoted her life to volunteering at a local hospital. How she loved the kids that she cared for on the pediatrics ward! She would share stories about her adventures at the hospital and about her travels...she always had something to say. When I was in high school and in college, she was as much my friend as my grandmother. After my high school graduation, she escaped with me and a friend to go to a flute concert. (We didn't know Mom and Dad had planned a graduation party at the house. Oops!). Over the summers, we went on expeditions all over the island, watching the old Columbus era fleets sail into Glen Cove, searching for fireworks, and people watching in the park. We were depressed together, too--who wouldn't be after going to see Schindler's List in the movie theaters on Christmas morning!!! Later, we laughed about our shared experiences. Sure, she critiqued me and didn't hesitate to tell me that I was spoiled every now and then; but maybe I needed a little humbling.

Anyway, this time of year I feel particularly close to her, because I remember working in the garden with her. Around the time the picture (above) was taken, she had a garden in the back of her garage. With the eyes of that 6-year-old me, I remember her cucumbers, and her noticing every change in the garden. Later, she continued to garden in keeping her sunroom fresh with plants galore...and each spring, she and I would plant annuals around the front of the house.

Above all, though, was our annual job of tending the wild wild wisteria in front of her house. My hair was wild, but this wisteria needed a good brushing (or trimming!) even more than I did. It was curious-- here, it climbed up over the neighbor's fence. There, it reached up a nearby tree. It just had personality, and needed to be tamed. I loved working on the tree with Gram, and then gathering up the branches. I remember the smell....and the feeling of accomplished exhaustion we had when the task was done.

The wisteria tree is gone now; I know, because I drove past her house this autumn. But I have a tree that came from one of its seedlings. It is growing by my shed, and every time I visit it, I encourage it to be curious and grow big and strong, and flower! It is just as wild as my hair and as its mother tree. It is big and strong. And someday, someday, it will flower.

I hope that day will come soon!

Wisteria photo credit: Robert H. Mohlenbrock @ USDA-NRCS PLANTS Database / USDA SCS. 1991. Southern wetland flora: Field office guide to plant species. South National Technical Center, Fort Worth, TX.