Life as we knew it; life as I know it

Last night was an intense one for me. Our show opened, and a dear friend came with me to see it. All right, I'll confess-- I was the first person who stepped out on stage as the lights dimmed, and as I moseyed on over to the piano I tripped (oh so gracefully!) on a little piece of wood on the stage. I was so embarrassed, but handled it with something ressembling poise and then proceeded to play the introduction of the show. The show was AWESOME! It was so much fun to have a responsive, chortling, energized audience. I've loved working on this show, and opening night was just such a thrill.


After a typically deep conversation with my friend on the way home, I tried to settle down to sleep; this is a big weekend with the shows, the orchestra concert, my 4 hour college class in the morning, and my family's visit. Intellectually I knew that I had to calm down and sleep. But sleep wouldn't come. I kept thinking about my little sister; in the morning I realized that yesterday was the 6 month anniversary of her death. Sometimes my emotions about this loss are just rawer than I like to admit they are.


Rather than fight insomnia, I accepted it and read a little further in the young adult novel, "Life as we knew it", by Susan Beth Pfeffer. It received the ALA Best Book Award for Young Adults, and it addressed a post-apocalyptic society, something which has always intrigued me.
I couldn't put the book down! Against all better judgement, I read it through, from cover to cover. Somehow she was able to evoke optimism in a horrendous situation of a change in the moon affecting the climate and livability of the Earth. From reading the honest narration of a teenager's diary, I was able to be reminded to celebrate each interaction, each morsel of food, each ray of sunlight. It's funny--I pride myself on savoring life. Last night, reading that book stepped my appreciation up a notch. So, after finishing the book I just looked through my window at the beckoning forsythia, admired my sleeping cats, marveled at the fact that I exist, I exist! and so many people that I cherish exist! and it's now, and there are 8 shows ahead of me (and then so many more creative experiences!) and someday I will look back on today's life as I know it and reminisce about how I once knew it. It's like I made a back-up file for my life, saving everything in my memory as it was last night at 2:00 a.m.
Needless to say, today I'm exhausted! I came home from class and napped. And now........on with the show!

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