Deception

People who know me think I'm a pretty smart woman. People who know me well know that, for all my book smarts and life wisdom, I lack something even more important: common sense. Melinda, my wild child younger sister who was saved by special education classes, had street smarts; I have street idiocy. And as a result, sometimes I fall for big lies.

Once, for example, I was watching a baseball game, the Mets vs Boston. My mother amazed me; she knew every move before it was made. Mom called out "Watch! Tim Teufel is going to do something you don't want to miss!" And sure enough it was a triple. "I think there is going to be a home run any minute now..." And sure enough, the ball went over the fence. I marveled at my mother's talent (and wondered why she never noticed that I used to erase her penciled in reminders that I was grounded til next Saturday... It turns out she didn't like my sisters and my being grounded, so she didn't pay attention to those things... But baseball? That was another matter.)

As I grew more and more impressed by my mother's talent, she felt uncomfortable being part of such deceit. She kept saying, "Emily, it's light out in Boston."  Ever the innocent, I made inane comments about the sunny day. Of course, I didn't notice that it was nighttime and this was a (prerecorded) day game. 

My mom is a brilliant and kind person, but she is no clairvoyant. And she had no desire to deceive me. Sure, it was fun to tease the future valedictorian who was old enough to put together the clues... But this was harmless deception.

I have been the victim of some costly deception recently, at the hands of an addicted plumber. Addiction is a scary thing and drives people to step out of their moral code. The driving force is money, and I, a single female who believes in people, am easy prey.

If you are a kid reading this, please heed my words: do not pay anyone in full in advance. Do not pay anyone in full with a tip in advance, even if you are grateful that they are coming out on a Saturday in evening in winter. Do not do it. Just don't. It might be the nice thing to do. It isn't the right thing to do and it certainly isn't the smart thing to do.

Well, last December turned into this December and after a whole saga, I thought that at least two jobs were completed in full: the mess under the kitchen sink and the main valve to the house. I was mistaken.

Yesterday, water was gushing everywhere from under the sink to the unfinished basement. I have amazing neighbors and a low tolerance for plumbing stress and I had a total meltdown. My neighbors came over. They called more neighbors and I thought of Blanche Dubois who "depended on the kindness of strangers". We turned

off the main water valve and called a plumber who came promptly today at 7:45.

Well... The main valve had not been replaced and the stuff under the sink was not fixed and my baseboard cracked... And I was deceived. And I am angry and tired and disillusioned. And it will eventually be fixed. My pocketbook will be a little thinner and I am writing up a report to the plumbing certification board...but I will be okay. This was wrongdoing but it was not evil. Above all, it is reparable.

Deception was an evil science of the Holocaust. From the gates crying out "Arbeit Macht Frei" to the ticket-takers who made affluent prisoners pay to board the trains to the death camps (to "Paradise"), deception was used to avoid massive uprisings or breakdowns. Deception was used to create bystanders; if you really believe the hate speech propagated by a hateful government, you fear getting typhus or lice from the prisoners (if you aren't shot first for helping them.). Deception was also used in international agreements such as the Munich "Dictate" -- referred to as such by the Czechoslovakians who didn't have a say in ceding the Sudetenland region to Germany while Enlgand and France offered it up as an act of appeasement. Deception can be hateful beyond my own comprehension.

So where does this leave me? I aim to be as honest as I possibly can. Sometimes, this does not make me liked. Sometimes, this certainly does not make it easy to be with me. Usually, it makes me feel like I am channeling my Grandma. I try not to make honest hurt, like her loving honesty hurt me when she told me time and again that I was spoiled. (I was! I still am!) 

I am realizing now, though, that honesty might hurt, but never as much as some of the deceptions I am learning about.