Creating Art out of Experience
I had a friend in Kansas who was homeschooled. She was immensely talented and I remember how she used to show me her creations. It shocked me that this scholar of a bucolic farm childhood would write so fervently about death, and draw gruesome images with such a keen eye for detail. Allison would assure me that she wasn't depressed or sadistic, that instead, she handled her human dark side through artistic expression. I didn't understand her feelings but I was moved to terror by her work.
In the weeks after my trip, my blog has fallen silent. It is not because I didn't think about the Holocaust and its ramifications. Rather, I was moved to terror by real life, and I needed to find a structure to support myself so that I could use my experience to help people. Images of twisted eyeglasses and mountains of hair don't disappear from a mind's eye. I wanted to be like my old friend and use my talents to cope with humanity's dark side. What can I do to take this knowledge and move people to action?
It took nightmares and hours with my left hand doodling out melodies on the piano. That minor sixth keeps calling out a yearning plea: "Hear me! Hear me!" I'm not ready to compose a song yet. For this movie, I had to use someone else's music. I'm not ready to write a story yet, or even a poem. This is not for want of trying.
I'm also very aware that my words may affect other people, and I have to choose what message I need to share that will help. Yes, I am angry. But that will not rehumanize people whose lives were taken in this horrific time. Yes, I am scared. But that will not protect people who are at risk today.
Therefore, this little movie is the first creative way I have found to share what I have learned. I will use it in presentations and I am sure I will find fault with it because it has that contradiction of being both raw (emotion) and polished (need for a helpful message).
I hope it makes some impact, not moving you to terror but to action: remember Roman Kent's eleventh commandment. Thou Shalt not be a Bystander.
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