A Forever Friend....When Least Expected

When I first moved to New Jersey, I didn't know a soul in the state. I'll never forget my first night in that white studio apartment. There were no cell phones then, and calls were charged by the minute. Most people didn't have email yet; this was the time of free Aol Online CD Roms in the mail and dial-up modems using the phone lines. 

I was so proud of myself! I had stepped out of my comfort zone and set forth to create a life.

Looking back, I wonder how I did it. No piano. No cat. No friends.

But I joined a chorus and befriended a special education teacher at the end of her career. Bobbi seemed to know everyone and everything. We went on road trips with the chorus and she showed me the back roads. I became brave enough to take Sunday "choose your own adventure" drives just for the pleasure of getting lost and getting found. Mind you, gas had just crept up to a dollar then. My tank was filled for a week with a ten dollar bill.

Bobbi saw that I was a multi-faceted musician and pulled me over to a community orchestra.  Young friends, take note: if you are a musician, you can make friends wherever you go! And though I was, and still am, grateful for Bobbi's friendship, it was my joining this orchestra that brought me to meet Dorothee, a young Au Pair from East Germany.  Suddenly, I had a friend my age, a friend committed to music and eager to go on adventures.

Dorothee was a very competent person, taking time to see the world before becoming immersed in her university studies. I, on the other hand, was done with college but lacked confidence and common sense. I was also past the point of pride and struggling with my early twenties depression. This friendship was precious to me. Dorothee kept me from going over the edge while keeping me laughing and singing. 

When she had to return home, we sat in the airport together and she taught me a German folk song for children. The song is about a giant elephant stuck between two trees. I was like that elephant, stuck between home and college, childhood and adulthood, hope and despair. We waved goodbye and promised to keep the friendship strong.

Years have passed.  Twice our lifetime, in fact. Now I can't go anywhere in New Jersey without running into a former student or theatrical colleague...this makes me smile. In fact, now I am the person who guides new friends to find the best routes from here to there or the musical groups to meet their skills and interests.  

Still, Dorothee and I have maintained our friendship.  At first, we saw each other every year. Now, it has been three years. This August, she met me at the Frankfurt airport. Some things have changed; now she owns a house, drives a car and, best of all, has two giggling sons who cuddle with their Auntie Em.  But the heart of our friendship is constant. Inspiration, trust, honesty, and adventure....

We will be ninety year olds and still seeking out each other's love and wisdom. You never know when life is about to throw you a forever friend.  You never know who is going to make your life infinitely better!