A Prophetic Moment, a Lifelong Friend

It was an uncanny and prophetic moment. The second grade class walked through the halls of Holland Brook School for their orientation. They walked two by two, and tried to resist skipping or tripping over loose shoelaces.  My future students, how their eyes shined!  But one girl stood out to me in particular. Like me, she had wild curls and bright, wide eyes. Like me, she didn't stand perfectly in line with the others. In fact, like the little girl I once was, she stood back from her classmates, losing herself in the scenery.

All of a sudden, this little girl caught a moment of eye contact with me. In that moment, everything changed.

She broke her silence, broke from her role of second grader and cheered out, "You! You are going to be my friend for life! I just know it!"  Her face lit up and her mouth sported a few windows where teeth used to be, or windows where grownup teeth word someday grow. I learned her name (Mina) and assured her that I would be her friend as a Spanish teacher in third, fourth, and fifth grades.  She continued on with her class, skipping to catch up, and that was that.

Well, Mina's words were true, and my assurance proved to be false. Yes, I taught her Spanish for half of third grade, but before long, I was called to another school. Our story would have ended there had there not been a few beautiful interactions in the school year we shared together. One of those interactions was with her mother. Farideh was, at the time, a substitute teacher in the school and she helped out when I was organizing a musical with fifth graders. We connected quickly and deeply. Another interaction was with her father at Back to School Night. There we stood, in the doorway of the bright yellow music room, and entered a conversation about language, cultures, philosophy and poetry. And of course, there were the smiles Mina and I exchanged in my brief visits to her classroom.  But that was all, and then I was gone.

January, 2004. It was a Saturday afternoon and for the first time in ages my house was clean. Not just neat, but clean!!!  I had just taken out some mushrooms to sautée when Farideh called me. "It's Ali's birthday. He's out with the girls right now. Do you want to come over for dinner and be a birthday surprise?" 

Normally, my shyness or polite refusal of last minute invitations would have won out. But I had to heed the magic of this phone call coming out of the blue, more than half a year after we had said goodbye. I'm so glad I did! It was the first of many evenings, afternoons, days and adventures of great joy and companionship. 

Inevitably, I grew more and more connected to everyone in Mina's family.  Eva and Aida were mischievous twins who loved to play tricks and sing and put on little plays. Mina was now a bookworm who loved to sit with me and read novels out loud. Farideh was a loving, giving mother who was also pondering ways to grow her professional life in the US. And Baba Ali would bring his stories and music to each visit.

Together, we went for walks in beautiful nature parks. We all went to fairs and tomato festivals, we swam together in summer and went sledding together in winter. When my wisdom teeth were removed, I stayed at their house and Farideh mashed quesadillas for me. When Mina needed to cope with middle school social shifts, I sat with her and charted hopes and fears. We celebrated Nawruz (the Persian New Year) together and I taught them how to make matzah brei and Grandma's apple sauce. I learned enough Farsi to take part in family celebrations and watch Persian TV.  

We shared extended families too.  My parents connected deeply with Farideh and Ali, and celebrate the many successes  of each of the girls. When, at last, Mina's grandparents came in from Iran, I called them Maman Maryam and Baba Ahmad. When Baba Ahmad passes away, my parents even came in from New York to celebrate his life and give their new extended family, our dear friends the Bahramis, their love.

So, yes, Mina was right way back in second grade. We were going to be and will still forever have beautifully entwined lives.  But it's even more than that.

May, 2008. It was a beautiful spring afternoon and my piano students were at my house for annual juries. Mina, her father and I all stood on my deck while the twins played the piano.  It was one of those e.e.cummings style days of "Just spring when the world was mud-luscious" and hope abounded.  I was miserable teaching elementary school Spanish, but I loved my students so much that I didn't realize how miserable I was.

"Em, there's a Gifted teaching position at my school. Mrs. B is retiring. You should really apply for it."   She was going into high school that upcoming fall, but here she was thinking of my happiness,

I gasped. "Mina! That's middle school. Are you out of your mind? Middle school kids are crazy. They would eat me up. I wouldn't know what to do."

She just smiled. "You do pretty well with me, and I'm one of those crazy middle school kids for another month."

And so it was that I found my niche. She had a vision that we would become lifelong friends, and that became reality.  She imagined me a middle school teacher, and now I thrive.  I am so lucky!

Mina just graduated from college and has been working at the Clinton Foundation before starting her next internship for TedX.  I am in awe of her many talents.  She plays the piano with the passion I once felt, and has music directed shows. She has volunteered in Honduras and Uganda, and has inspired me to foster my global mindset.  She is a person that people gravitate to. I am hopeful for the future, knowing that it is partly in her hands.

I wonder who she will meet as she launches in the next few months. Will there be a child greeting her and knowing that they are part of one another's forever? Will she meet someone to pull her to travel unknown seas or motivate her to build a world peace? Will she find new friends who help her see what a gift she is to us all?

You never know who will change your life. Unless you are my friend Mina....and then you know that you will change the lives of people you meet!