My Chanukah Primer

 Tonight marks the first night of Chanukah, and some of my friends have been asking me about the holiday lately. Here is my editorialized FAQ session:

Do you really get gifts for eight days?

- The US style Chanukah was built up to try to match (or at least be a consolation prize for those who don’t celebrate) Christmas. Yes, some families do eight days of gifts. Some families also celebrate “American” Christmas (not the religious stuff but Santa, the tree, lights, carols, bells…) However, Chanukah was not traditionally a gift holiday outside of sweets or gelt (coins). As for me, when I was growing up we celebrated a few nights of the holiday, but I don’t think we’ve ever remembered all eight of them! The takeaway? Different families, different times, different traditions… but materialism is not at the center of the holiday.

Then what is at the center of Chanukah?

- Light in the darkness, hope in despair… oil-based foods…. Families gathered around for a highly unhealthy but delicious dinner. For me, it is also the songs we would sing when the candles were lit. Our family tradition was having each person choose a song to sing together. I laugh now, but when I was a kid I would get so angry when my sister chose O Holy Night… but you know, it has great music! Other hits in my family (definitely not standard Chanukah fare) were Tum Balalaika (with hand movements), Hevenu Shalom Aleichem (with Dad overdoing the guttural /kh/ sound), Zum Gali Gali, Those Were the Days My Friend, You are my Sunshine, and more…

Why is it so far from Christmas this year?

- The Jewish holidays are based on a lunar calendar. Every few years, we add a leap month to even things out. Right about now, we are due for a leap month!

What about the dreidl? Do people really play that?

-It’s an old gambling Christmas game from England and Ireland (Teetotum) that eventually made it east to Germany and then across to Eastern Europe. It’s fun, especially if you like dizzying mathematics. But it wasn’t central to the holiday until some rabbis took it and made it into a learning tool.

Do schools need to do Chanukah songs?

- A friend just complained to me about the annual “I have a little dreidl” song which was a token at concerts. Luckily, the songs my music teachers did were gentler melodies of Jill Gallina- not authentic, but joyous, and I’ve already established the lack of authenticity of the dreidl! That said… it’s nice to have a wide array of music, but need Christmas and Chanukah be the main musical culture songs? And Chanukah just isn’t on par with Christmas within the scope of a faith!

That said, I love Christmas carols. I love annoying my friends by singing “Angles” instead of “angels” and by pointing out that you can replace Jesus’s name with Moses in “Away in a Manger.” Did I mention before that I love O Holy Night? However, why do public schools need to do the more religious ones? I’ve always appreciated the theme of Bells or the theme of Lights for winter concerts. It saved me the awkwardness of singing to a Savior in a public school. There are songs about lights in all cultures. And when rehearsing songs months in advance, it beats rushing a season!

Someone told me you don’t blow out the candles. Isn’t that unsafe?

- hahah yes! In fact, my family’s tradition was to blow them out. One sister got to choose the colors of the candles, one got to light them, one got to choose the first song, and one got to blow them out. However, in Judaism, the candles are usually left to die on their own. It was odd for me to go to a UU service for the first time and learn that a part of the service was extinguishing the chalice. So practical and safe!

Do you miss being with your family?

- All the time. But remember, this isn’t the big holiday. And I was just with my parents for Thanksgiving. We did Boston Market. So much easier!

Regardless of the holiday, though, look out for your friends whose families are in flux.

How do you spell it?

-I.T. It. No, seriously, because the word comes from Hebrew (a word meaning Dedication), it wasn’t officially said with phonemes we have in English . The first letter is a /Kh/ sound, so I use the more traditional, less used “Chanukah” spelling. I’ve noticed “Hanukkah” occurring more and more frequently, though.

Do you celebrate Christmas?

-Yes, as a person who celebrates life and happy holidays, and as a church musician. I don’t do a tree or lights, and it is the kind of “Christmas” that my religious friends who argue “put Christ back in Christmas” would loathe. But I believe in the magic of community and giving and coming together in the cold and caroling and trying to make others happy.

Is it offensive to wish a Jewish person “Merry Christmas”?

- I hope not, but why not just wish your friends a “Merry Everything”? And definitely don’t wish them a happy Chanukah as you go on vacation at the end of this month! In general, though, kind wishes are kind wishes, regardless of your faith.

Whatever you celebrate, may your light(s) shine!