Doing the Best We Can

 It was on this date 18 years ago that I saw my little sister for the last time. And yet, she informs so many of my life choices as a musician and a teacher, as a friend and thinker.

I’ve learned so much in these years, thinking of her journey:

We aren’t responsible for what we’ve been given in life— but we are responsible for what we do with it.

We don’t know the battles other people are fighting.

People have some really hard decisions to make, and the most important ones are made without the opportunity to be fully informed.

You have to take the happy memories, even if they don’t stick as firmly as some of the rough ones.

Sometimes a person can be given a huge amount of love, but it isn’t enough. Sometimes a person can be given a huge amount of pain, but they can still find a way to dance.

You have to laugh. You have to speak up. You have to sometimes be silent. You have to be able to forgive.

We are all doing the best we can. Sometimes that’s enough.

Sometimes things work out, even though they are sad or hard or uncomfortable.

It takes a while after a loss but the happy memories come back, usually unsolicited, always appreciated. (This summer, I remembered that she called the ocean “Baf” when we first reached it in our drive across the states…)